Tend To Your Own Happiness

Article by Deanna Mascle

Many of us wish for more happiness. We want to lead happier, more fulfilling, lives, but the sad truth is that so many of us that wish for more happiness spend much more time tending the happiness of others than we do tending to our own happiness.

Happiness does not simply happen. A person does not suddenly stumble across happiness. Happiness is the result of careful tending and a person who wishes to be happy must tend to their own happiness.

Tending to your happiness does not need to be difficult, complex, or time-consuming. It can be as simple as this four-step formula:

1. Trash your unhappy thoughts and trends2. Envision yourself happy3. Needs fulfilled4. Desires fulfilled

Making yourself a happier person really can be that simple.

Step one is an important one because unhappiness is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many people are unhappy because they don’t believe they deserve to be happy and they lock themselves into patterns of behavior that make them unhappy. You must trash your unhappy thoughts and trends.

Look inside yourself and find out what (and when) you think about things that make you unhappy. Is there a specific time of day that you tend to be more unhappy? Is there a specific task or routine that seems to feed your unhappiness? Is there something that you do or think that contributes to your own unhappiness?

Once you identify the areas of your life that cause you unhappiness you can find ways to confront it and combat it. Sometimes you can make a change to avoid the trouble spot altogether, but when that’s not possible find ways to make it less difficult on yourself. Adjust your schedule or your expectations if that will make things better. Recruit help when you can. Just easing off one task or freeing up a few hours can make a huge difference in your attitude. When all else fails and you can’t change or share something unpleasant than don’t hesitate to give yourself a reward for accomplishing it. Knowing you will be rewarded can sometimes make difficult tasks more palatable.

Step two is key. Some people have been unhappy for so long they have forgotten what happiness looks like and feels like. Envisioning yourself happy can help create the happiness habit. Thinking about your own happiness will also help counterbalance times when you are unhappy or working through unpleasant tasks. Think about difficult times as simply stepping stones to happy times.

Step three cannot be overlooked. If your basic needs for food and sleep are not met then you will not be able to focus on happiness. Obviously it is not impossible for hungry, sleep-deprived people to be happy, but most humans are a lot less likely to be happy in that state. Food and sleep provide fuel for both body and mind and the healthier your body and mind then the better chance you have to achieve happiness.

Step four is the final step to achieving happiness. What do you desire? What do you wish for? What do you dream about? Allow yourself to dream big but don’t overlook small wishes and desires. While a two-week cruise might be great just having a weekend at a local resort might really give the rest, relaxation and escape you might need. Or perhaps you’d really like to lose 30 or 50 pounds but finding a way to work in some exercise a few times a week might give you more immediate gratification while eventually accomplishing your long-term goal.

Make a list of your desires, wishes, and dreams — big and small — and keep that list some place handy. What can you do this week to achieve a small goal? What can you do this month to take a step toward a big goal? Sometimes you don’t even need to accomplish your goals to achieve happiness. Sometimes it is simply enough to know that you are working toward your dreams. Often happiness is found on the path to our dreams. Often happiness is created while we strive to make our wishes come true.

You can make yourself a happier person but you must tend to your happiness. So often we spend more time tending to our outer possessions than we do tending to our inner ones. You can make a few changes to your life to find a better balance and that will help create more personal happiness for you.

About the Author

Deanna Mascle writes on many inspirational, motivational and self improvement topics and shares her writings through her ezines and blogs. Learn more at Smiles By Dawggone at http://SmilesByDawggone.com

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3 Misconceptions About Happiness

Article by Deanna Mascle

The sad truth is that there are a lot of unhappy people in the world. The tragic truth is that many of those unhappy people could lead happier lives if only they gave up the misconceptions they have about happiness. Even those of us who consider themselves relatively happy still cling to some of these untruths. Why? Probably because it is easier to blame someone else for our unhappiness when the simple fact is that no one else has power over our happiness. We give that power to others but that is our choice. Once we take control of our own happiness then we will be happier, but in order to take back that control over our happiness we need to rid ourselves of three popular misconceptions about it.

One of the greatest misconceptions related to happiness is that you need money to be happy. If you take some time out to study people around you then you will see just how little substance there is to this belief. Rich people are not automatically happy and poor people are not automatically unhappy. In fact, once you begin looking at individuals and families then you will no doubt spot a great many unhappy rich people and even more happy poor people.

The truth is that once your basic needs are taken care then money will not have a major impact on your happiness. In fact, making it dependent on the attainment of a certain amount of money is often a recipe for a very unhappy life. Pursuing money is a bad goal because so often people get caught up in a rat race they can never win. For people who consider money the ultimate measure of success there is never enough money so they will never be happy.

In fact, one reason many poor people are happy is that they realize that once their family is fed, clothed and housed then money isn’t that important when you compare it to love, friendship, and laughter. Those things are important and can’t be bought at any price.

Another big misconception about happiness is that you need someone else to be happy. Happiness comes from within yourself. You are the only one who controls your happiness. You do not need friends or significant others for it. You do not need children or grandchildren for it. You can be happy without the acclaim of others and without being famous. While having other people to care about is an important element of human contentment and therefore happiness, it can be a great mistake to place to great of an emphasis on the need for one specific relationship. If you have a loving family and friends then that is what is important not the fact that you lack a spouse. Having love in your life is what counts not the source of that love.

The third big misconception about happiness is that you need to be lucky to be happy. Happiness is not about luck but rather about opening yourself up to it, looking for it in unlikely places, and allowing yourself to be happy. Many of the people who subscribe to the luck theory of happiness are the same people who believe that they do not deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy and everyone has the capacity to be a happy person. Don’t wait for happiness to come to you but rather open your life to it and you will find it.

You can be happy and you can lead a happier life if you just let go of these three misconceptions. You don’t need money, other people, or luck to be happy. You have the power over your own happiness if you only open your heart and your life. So be happy!

About the Author

Deanna Mascle shares more inspirations and opinions with her blog Dawggone Musings at http://Dawggone.net

Happiness – possess it and be stress free

Article by Rajesh Chowdhry

Copyright (c) 2007 Rajesh Chowdhry

Happiness is a poem I wrote as philosophy of life. Whenever I feel stressed. I use it as stress reliever and helping agent to bring equilibrium in my life. Being Clinic Psoriasis administrator, I know stress is the single most important trigger for psoriasis patients. I will feel happy if this poem can help any psoriasis patient in controlling their conditions Let the content gets into your mind, body and soul. The more you will feel the contents within yourself, You will feel better and stress relieved. This in turn will help you to control your angry psoriasis condition and flare ups. Just enjoy it.

Happiness… What is Happiness? A shadow! An un-possess-able Shadow!! Or A Bag of Sand, just a small hole in the bag and sand is gone.

What is Happiness? Is becoming RICH happiness? Or, having family, friends and relatives happiness? Is acquiring wealth happiness? Or, having all these ingredients REALLY happiness? Then, Why, after possessing all of them, Even after reaching on the top; We still feel, there is something missing, Happiness is still away from us. ‘Like water in the desert’ Always an Illusion Since grownup, I am running, running AND running. – In a marathon race And happiness is still beyond my reach… What is Happiness? A shadow! An un-possess-able Shadow!!

Let’s think… Why are our desires endless? Because, We always desire for have-nots But Never realize what we have got. AND this thirst always goes on, till the end of our life. It over burns us It over stresses us AND takes our happiness away. It is our greed to acquire everything which takes away, what we already have. Why? Why I always compare myself with others and get wild Why can’t I tolerate their successes? Why do I always want to pull them down to get equal? And in this process loose MY happiness. My comparison goes on and on, with enemies, friends, relatives, brothers, family, infect with everybody. Basically I am self centered and narrow minded. But still I am singing the same song, ‘happiness is a shadow; an un-possess-able shadow.’

Is happiness brittle? So brittle! Like a house of glass That Somebody throws a small stone at it and my house is gone. Why does happiness come only for a few moments? Like a fainted ray of light in a deep dark endless tunnel. Why? Because, I myself closed the doors of my tunnel. No matter, how many efforts I am making, without opening these doors, I can never see the light of happiness. And there is continuous bright sunshine outside my tunnel. “Whenever I concentrate on acquiring happiness, it always slips away from me And Whenever I make efforts in giving happiness to others, doors of my deep and dark tunnel open and bright and shinning light of happiness fills in. ” Happiness is the only wealth which multiplies by dividing it.” Happiness is a shadow!

Let’s think again…. Why do I find myself in these conditions? Because I try and balance my happiness with money. Is happiness a commodity to trade on? No, it is not. Happiness! We search for it outside in materialistic word; whereas, it always lives in our within. “Neither wealth, nor status and nor any force can help in acquiring happiness; It is a feeling of my mind which comes with a sense of satisfaction” Can I reach this level of satisfaction? Yes When I get enlightened that attachment to materialistic word is the root cause of my dis-satisfaction. And attachment, condition less attachment to God is the root to happiness.

Realizing ‘we are simply users and not owners of what we possess’ is the key to happiness. Happiness is not momental, it is permanent and possess-able when it is shadow of god

Happiness is shadow of God.

About the Author

Author Rajesh Chowdhry is Clinic Administrator at clinicpsoriasis interacting with psoriasis patients every day. Psorcure Treatment plan offered by clinicpsoriasis is the well known treatment plan for clear skin with 95%= PASI reduction and very long term remission period. To know more about Psorcure Treatment Program or you want to discuss about this article or yoga and psoriasis, you can contact author at http://www.psorcure.com

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Keys to Happiness

Article by Vivek Ray

Most people honestly believe that they will be happy when they are able to get a job they want, but when they get it, they won’t be. They feel that they will be happy once they have a nice house- but they won’t be. Then they will be happy when they have put in everything neatly so that they can call the house their home – but they won’t be. Then a fancy car, an exotic vacation, etc. etc. but happiness seems to be eluding them. Is it really possible to have permanent happiness?

Search of happiness is one of the basic purposes of human life. However, it is also the source of greatest frustration. Many successful people who had been super-achiever feel the futility of their efforts that has gone in the pursuit of happiness. Unfortunately many of them actually feel more depressed and unhappy even if they win the rat race of the material world. There are some others who seek happiness in drugs, alcohol, illicit relationships, gambling and immoral conduct. But it all ultimately destroys the person rather than giving what the person seeks for.

The main reason for this frustrating situation is that most people fail to differentiate between joy or pleasure and real happiness. All the material things in life can actually give joy and pleasure, and that is momentary. It lasts for a while and then extinguishes, like a lamp that gives light till the oil lasts. A new house, a fancy car or an exotic vacation will give joy for a while. But then as the novelty wears of, it will no longer be a source of pleasure. Bhagwat Gita points out that everything in this material world is temporary and that every human being is living in illusion. And this is the cause of all miseries.

Happiness therefore is not in material things, but in certain things that money can not buy. These are the keys or principles that can open door to happiness, irrespective of the situation or circumstances one is in. This is evident from the fact that many families with limited means seem more happy than those who are financially blessed. So, what are these secret keys of happiness?

Physical Health: You have surely heard that health is wealth. We experience everything through our body. It is our body through which we make the efforts that brings results. Therefore it is important to keep healthy physically to experience happiness. In today’s world that is full of rat race, people often neglect their health. Lack of physical exercise, unbalanced diet, pollution, stress, all takes toll on our health. To top it, we try to gratify ourselves by involving into drugs, alcohol, tobacco etc, in the process spoiling our physical well being. Of course there is no happiness in indulging in pleasures all night and then getting up sick in the morning. Therefore, a healthy body is the first key to happiness.

Keeping Healthy Mind: Like physical health, it is important to keep a healthy mind. I believe that it is more important, as healthy body often follows healthy mind. Happiness is more in the mind of an individual than anywhere else.

Mental health comprises of a high self-image, positive mental attitude and strong value systems. Like we eat and exercise to keep our body healthy we must also feed our mind on a regular basis with strong positive thoughts, otherwise the mental health may fall victim to the countless negativities that exist in the world. Reading good books, listening to powerful recording and associating with positive and progressive people are the best ways to keep a healthy mind.

Spiritual Well-being: Man is a spiritual being and happiness is a spiritual feeling. Many religions in the world advocates that the only way to eternal happiness and bliss is in service of God, the ultimate spiritual authority. This however, does not mean that we renounce the world and become a hermit. In fact, serving other people in this world is the best way to serve God. That is why we feel internal happiness when we do something for others without any selfish motive. Having faith, praying for others and helping others through our action are often enough for our spiritual well-being. On the contrary, harming others, seeking revenge, victimizing, using dishonest means lowers our worth of self and leads to spiritual bankruptcy, and robs us our peace of mind.

Hard Work: Man is engineered to produce abundance with his efforts. Laziness is one of the greatest reasons for sorrow in this world. People who believe in honest hard work are the one who are far happier than the one who tries to profit by dishonest and seemingly easy means. Hard work is required for good health: physical, mental and spiritual, as well as for maintaining good relationships, and material success. A person, who believes in hard work, has high self image and creates security that gives peace of mind that is essential for happiness.

Hope: Nothing is possible without hope. Hope is one thing that keeps the person going on even in worst situations. You can never be happy if you have no hope. ‘Hope’ is the belief that the thing will get better, than what they are now. A person who has lost hope will loose his health, spiritual connection and will take no action to improve his situation. Since everything that we do is with a hope for better tomorrow, hope remains an important key to happiness.

Since, success is not a destination but a journey and happiness is an important ingredient of success, we feel happy as we move on. Reaching a destination may give us joy, but it is the endeavor to reach and the belief that we can reach further is what gives us happiness. Happiness is in playing the game not in winning. So, make happiness a major goal in your life and test all your other goals against it to live a happy life.

About the Author

Vivek Ray is a Success trainer, Motivator and Inspirational speaker. In order to take control of your life and step by step guidance for success visit his free self improvement and mentorship portal www.success-attitude.com. You can also email him to seek personal guidance, and subscribe to a free inspirational newsletter on this site.

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Happiness is Your True Wealth

Article by Ann Ronan

“Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.” Buddha

I’ve been studying the new field of Positive Psychology ‘finally a psychology that is rigorously studying what is right with people. I am excited to find that this research points to what spiritual truths already tell us – you are meant to be happy, to live the life you choose AND, your thinking influences your happiness.

Nobody comes to me for coaching saying “help me be happier”. But really ‘that underlies every person’s seeking’a new job, a better relationship, more money – the thought that if you had that you would be happy. Guess what? You are probably already pretty happy ‘research shows us that most people are mildly happy most of the time – we’re wired that way. We are able to adjust to and overcome personal difficulties with inspiring levels of resilience. And, a vast majority of people are able to overcome distress, find meaning and seek out enjoyable experiences and relationships.

What is happiness? Happiness is often seen as trivial, lighthearted, and not nearly as important as the weightier matters of work and family. Researchers say that happiness is the “experience of frequent, mildly pleasant emotions, the relative absence of unpleasant feelings, and a general feeling of satisfaction with one’s life.” Happiness is much more than a destination. Feeling positive is like having money in the bank that can be spent on the pursuit of other goals. Happiness is one of your greatest resources that you may be overlooking.

There are many benefits to being happy. Happiness is associated with better health, more creativity, higher income, and better workplace evaluations. Happy people tend to be more helpful, creative, charitable, altruistic and healthier. They live longer, are more likely to marry, tend to stay married longer, tend to have more friends and actually earn more money.

How can you be happier? What is it that very happy folks actually do differently than the rest of us? Are they smarter, or more energetic or kinder? There is a strong genetic component to happiness ‘about 50% of our levels of happiness are genetically based, life circumstances like economic status, race and sex account for about 10% and the good news is that the other 40% is personal choice.

Set a realistic expectation about happiness ‘mildly pleasant most of the time is just fine. We are not meant to be wildly euphoric all the time. One of the most powerful ways to increase happiness is to not expect fulfillment to be extremely intense or permanent.

What is the optimal level of happiness? Most of us are in the mildly positive range. If you imagine happiness on a scale from 1 to 10, then the majority of us would level off somewhere in the 6, 7 or 8 range. We have emotional highs and come back to mildly pleasant rather quickly.

Happy people have a trinity of happiness habits: they set goals, have rewarding social relationships and practice positive mental habits. These three practices can maximize your ability to live the life you want.

1. Set goals that are attainable, time bound, concrete, and that fit your values. You want to be moving towards something positive with your goals (for example, give a presentation that is well received) rather than avoiding something negative with your goal (don’t embarrass myself when giving the presentation). Goals that seek out a desirable outcome rather than avoiding negative consequences will give you satisfaction.

Happiness is a process rather than a destination. People who achieve goals that are important to them tend to savor the accomplishment and then move on to soar to new heights. The satisfaction that comes with achievement can be looked at as an emotional paycheck for a job well done. That paycheck can then be spent as a resource to work toward other new goals. In this way, happiness is a cup that truly overflows.

2. Happy people tend to their relationships as if they were gardens. They tend to the weeds with forgiveness and gratitude and supply lots of nourishment. Listen to this: the single quality shared by the happiest people is that they tend to have an abundance of rewarding social ties.

Be careful about putting too much weight on luxury, money and material goals. One of the most toxic aspects of materialistic values, psychologically speaking, is that these pursuits can steal time and attention away from nurturing relationships.

Practicing gratitude can help maintain close connections with others. Gratitude is linked to more helping behaviors, high positive emotions, life satisfaction, increased hope and lower feelings of anxiety and envy.

3. Happy people use positive thinking habits to maintain a sense of well being. They are less prone to self reflection (especially rumination about negative past events), less likely to engage in negative comparisons with peers, and are more likely to think of events positively (minimize daily hassles and savor the pleasure of successes). Research shows that anyone can get into the habit of “thinking happy.” Where is your attention focused? Focus on your personal wins, compliments, encouragement. Look for and appreciate the bright side of life. The way you think about the future – having an upbeat outlook is an important predictor of future success. Train your mind ‘you will see the results in your outer world!

So go ahead, set a new goal, start practicing gratitude, and watch your thoughts. What will you do differently today to begin living your life the way YOU want?

About the Author

Ann Ronan, Ph.D., RScP provides teaching, coaching and writing to help others live authentic lives doing what they most love. Receive her free e-course on the Top Ten Ways to Live Authentically -register at http://www.authenticlifeinstitute.com to begin this step-by-step program today.

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How To Make Yourself Happy -What is Stopping You From Happiness

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